I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
