ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
