words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
