So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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