Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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