drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
