I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
