How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
