She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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