My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
