Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
