I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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