It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
organizing the empties. That sober.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
