omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
