even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
