I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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