Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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