sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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