I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
