none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
