I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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