mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize
