He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
