I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize