I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
