I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
