It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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