i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
