the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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