i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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