Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
