WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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