We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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