well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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