I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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