Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
