i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize