5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
