We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
