My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize