He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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