If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
