have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
