worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
