I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
