I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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