Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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