Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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