what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm really busy with my period
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