do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
