Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
