My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
