I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we made out on top of his cat.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
