she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
