she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
