you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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