Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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