everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
