seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
