there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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