I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
