i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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