i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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