Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
