Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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