You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
