I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
