It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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